


I'm Not Ok but I Smile Anyway

by Starmy_Night



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Yang Jeongin | I.N-centric, based on stray kids ep. 4, he needs love and support, more tags to be added later............. maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 13:59:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17829884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starmy_Night/pseuds/Starmy_Night
Summary: Based off of Stray Kids Ep. 4 when Jeongin explains why he always smilesAs soon as the shoot ends Jeongin regrets saying what he did, he wishes he would of said anything else, for now he knows that his members aren't going to let this slide





	I'm Not Ok but I Smile Anyway

As soon as his shoot ends he knows he should of just kept his mouth shut, said he was tired or some petty excuse like that. He knows that as soon as he steps out of this room he is going to have to face Jisung, they are going to go to the dorm and he's going to have them all talk about it, well he doesn't want to talk about it, didn't even want them to know but he was so stressed and sad, and tired that he couldn't keep his feelings to himself anymore, couldn't help but let his guard down for a split second, allowing the world including his hyung to see the real him. The one that is constantly stressed, barely gets enough sleep, keeps all of his real emotions locked away where he knows others can't get to them, especially not his hyungs, who all already have so much on their plate, they don't need to add his insecurities on top of that. Walking out of that door was about the hardest thing to do for Jeongin, he knew he was going to face the concerned look of his hyung, so when he actually does walk out of the room he is surprised to not only find Jisung there but all of his hyungs, he's guessing only Jisung knew what he said, because he was the only one with the look of concern on his face. Though that changed pretty quickly as they took in his appearance, the red eyes, and tear tracks going down his cheeks, he looked down after making eye contact with the concerned glance of Felix, he knew he wouldn't be able to get out of this one.

"Innie, what's wrong, what happened" The concern he heard in Felix's voice, almost made him break down for a second time, but he held it in, something hes been doing far to often lately.

"We'll talk about this when we get to the dorm, I think it's about time we had this discussion" Jisung said, being the only one who knew what was going on. 

With that they all made there way to the van, with Jeongin in the back wishing that he would of just left his mouth shut, as to not worry any of the other members, feeling guilty that he was keeping them from their well deserved rest. The ride back was quiet except for the radio that was playing softly in the back ground some song in English that Chan and Felix were obsessed with at the moment. Jeongin though of ways he could avoid the conversation that was bound to happen, he didn't exactly know what he was going to do yet, but he knew he had to try.

When they reached the dorm, Jeongin was the first on out of the car, running to the door, pushing in the code to unlock the door, running inside only to be stopped by Seungmin, who had somehow caught up to him, how he did that exactly, Jeongin will never know. 

"Not so fast, we need to talk and you know it." he said in a matter of fact tone.

"Why can't we just talk tomorrow it's late and we are all tired" he knew he was practically begging, and he also knew that it most likely wasn't going to work, he tried anyway.

"No we are doing this now, to the living room" Seungmin, said while dragging him to the couch were are the other members were currently.

"Okay, so Jisung are you going to explain what happened" Chan said, taking charge like the great leader he is.

"I'm not going to explain, I am going to show you" he said while bringing out a small flash drive. The color drained from Jeongins face, Jisung explaining what had happened was one thing but to show the clip was an entirely different thing.

"Hyung, please don't" He was again begging, nut Jisung either didn't hear him or didn't care because he stuck the flash drive into the side of the laptop brought up the video and hit play. He watched as his facade slowly was brought down, watched as he finally showed his true emotions, and why he always smiled, why he he always appeared to be so happy, he didn't even notice the tears rolling down his face. Soon enough it was over, he had been exposed for being weak, for showing how he truly felt, he felt like the walls he had carefully built had been destroyed, he didn't know if he was going to be able to rebuild them.

"Jeonginnie, is this true" Hyunjin asked, a look of worry on his face.

He found no reason to lie, the truth was out, "Y-yeah, it's true" he didn't have the courage to look up from his hands.

"Why didn't you tell us, we could of helped you" Woojin says, he couldn't believe his maknae had felt like this.

"You all are already dealing with so much, you don't need my stupid problems on top of it" He explained, he just didn't want his hyungs to worry about him.

"Jeongin, we are your hyungs it is our job to take of you, we love you and we want you to come to us when you feel like this" Minho states giving Jeongin one of the biggest hugs ever.

"I want you to promise me, us, that if you ever feel down, even if it is just slightly, you will tell us, you aren't a burden, and could never be one" Changbin says looking me dead in the eye.

"I don't know if I can do that hyung" He said honestly.

"I know you can, it may be hard sometimes, but Innie it will be worth it" Hyunjin says. All the love and support coming from his members, is making him tear up and he knows he going to start crying soon.

"Okay hyung, I promise I'm going to try" He said, determination filling his voice

"That's all we could ask of you Innie" Jisung says staring at him with such love and acceptance it warms his heart and he smiles for the first time that night.

It isn't until much later that night when everyone is asleep that he thanks Jisung for doing what he did, and with that he sleeps peacefully for the first time in weeks, thinking of how much he loves his hyungs, and how much they love him.


End file.
